Vampire Academy Chapter 19

NINETEENITS HARD TO SAY WHAT fin every last(predicate)y make me do it. Id held on to so many surreptitiouss for so long, doing what I believed trump off protected Lissa. But hiding her gash did nothing to protect her. I hadnt been able to make her stop and re solelyy, I now wondered if it was my fault shed invariably started. N one of this had happened until she corned me in the accident. What if shed left me injured? mayhap I would pay rec everyplaceed. Maybe she would be solely decent today.I stayed in the clinic while Dimitri went to consider Alberta. He hadnt hesitated for a second when I told him where she was. Id state she was in danger, and hed left immediately.Everything after that moved same some variety of slow-motion nightm ar. The legal proceeding dragged on while I waited. When he ultimately re rancid with an unconscious Lissa, a flurry a ruddiness at the clinic, one everyone desireed me kept surface of. She had lost a lot of blood, and while they had a feeder on die effective external, rousing her to enough consciousness to drink turn out difficult. It wasnt until the middle of the Academys night that someone decided she was stable enough for me to visit.Is it unbowed? she asked when I walked into the room. She lay on the bed, wrists heavily bandaged. I knew theyd put a lot of blood back into her, nevertheless she still looked pale to me. They conk tongue to it was you. You told them.I had to, I verbalize, afraid to get too close. Lissyou cut yourself worse than you ever have. And after healing meand then everything with Christianyou couldnt handle it. You required help.She closed her eyes. Christian. You hit the sack nearly that. Of course you do. You know about everything.Im sorry. I adept wanted to help.What happened to what Ms. Karp said? About alivenessing it all secret?She was talking about the other stuff. I dont think shed want you to keep cutting yourself.Did you tell them about the ?other stuff?I shook my head. non yet.She turned toward me, eyes cold. ?Yet. But youre waiver to.I have to. You fag heal other peoplesolely its killing you.I healed you.I would have been okay eventually. The ankle would have healed. Its not cost what it does to you. And I think I know how it startedwhen you first healed meI explained my revelation about the accident and how all of her powers and depression had started after that. I also pointed out how our bond had formed after the accident too, though I didnt fully understand why yet.I dont know whats expiration on, scarcely this is beyond us. We need someones help.Theyll shoot me forward, she said flatly. similar Ms. Karp.I think theyll try to help you. They were all really worried. Liss, Im doing this for you. I vindicatory want you to be okay.She turned away from me. Get out, Rose.I did.They released her the bordering morning on the condition that shed have to come back for perfunctory visits to the counselor. Dimitri told me they also pla nned on putting her on some categorization of medication to help with the depression. I wasnt a big fan of pills, entirely Id cheer on anything that would help her.Unfortunately, some sopho much(prenominal) had been in the clinic for an asthma attack. Hed seen her come in with Dimitri and Alberta. He didnt know why shed been admitted, precisely that hadnt stop him from telling people in his hall what hed seen. They then told others at breakfast. By lunch, all the upperclassmen knew about the late-night clinic visit.And more importantly, everyone knew she wasnt speaking to me.Just like that, some(prenominal) social headway Id do plummeted. She didnt outright condemn me, but her quiet spoke legions, and people behaved accordingly.The whole day, I walked around the Academy like a ghost. People watched and occasionally spoke to me, but few make much more effort than that. They followed Lissas lead, imitating her silence. No one was openly recall to me they probably didnt want t o risk it in case she and I patch things up. Still, I comprehend blood whore whispered here and thither when someone thought I wasnt listening.stonemason would have welcomed me to his lunch table, but some of his friends faculty not have been so nice. I didnt want to be the cause of any fights between him and them. So I chose Natalie instead.I heard Lissa tried to run away again, and you stopped her, Natalie said. No one had a clue why shed been in the clinic yet. I hoped it stayed that way.Running away? Where in the world had that come from? Why would she do that?I dont know. She lower her voice. Whyd she leave before? Its just what I heard.That story raged on as the day passed, as did all ramifys of rumors about why Lissa might have gone to the med clinic. Pregnancy and abortion theories were eternally popular. Some whispered she might have gotten Victors disease. No one even came close to guessing the truth. sledding our last class as quickly as possible, I was amaze when Mi a started walking toward me.What do you want? I demanded. I chiffoniert come out and play today, little girl.You sure have an attitude for someone who doesnt survive right now.As opposed to you? I asked. Remembering what Christian had said, I did feel a little sorry for her. That guilt disappeared after I took one look at her face. She might have been a victim, but now she was a monster. There was a cold, cunning look about her, very different from the desperate and depressed one from the other day. She hadnt stayed beat after what Andre had done to her if that was even true, and I believed it was and I doubted she would with Lissa either. Mia was a survivor.She got dislodge of you, and youre too high and mighty to admit it. Her blue eyes lots bugged out. Dont you want to get back at her? be you more psycho than usual? Shes my exceed friend. And why are you still hobby me?Mia tsked. She doesnt act like it. condescend on, tell me what happened at the clinic. Its something b ig, isnt it? She really is pregnant, right? Tell me what it is.Go away.If you tell me, Ill get Jesse and Ralf to say they made all that stuff up.I stopped walking and spun around to face her. Scared, she took a few steps backward. She must have recalled some of my past threats of tangible violence.I already know they made it all up, because I didnt do any of it. And if you try to turn me against Lissa one more time, the stories are going to be about you bleeding, because Ill have ripped your throat outMy voice grew louder with from each one word until I practically shouted. Mia stepped back further, clearly terrified.You really are crazy. No wonder she dropped you. She shrugged. Whatever. Ill find out whats going on without you.When the dance came that weekend, I decided I really didnt want to go. It had sounded stupid to buzz off with, and Id only been interested in going to the after-parties anyway. But without Lissa, I wasnt possible to gain admission to those. Instead, I ho led up in my room, trying and weakness to do some homework. Through the bond, I felt all sorts of coalesce emotions from her, in particular anxiety and excitement. It had to be hard hanging out all night with a guy you didnt really like. About ten minutes after the dances start time, I decided to clean up and take a shower. When I came back d accept the hall from the bathroom, a towel wrapped around my head, I saw stonemason standing exterior my door. He wasnt exactly dressed up, but he also wasnt exhausting jeans. It was a start.There you are, party girl. I was about ready to apply up.Did you start another fire? No guys allowed in this hall.Whatever. Like that makes a difference. True. The school might be able to keep Strigoi out, but they did a horrible job at keeping the rest of us away from each other. Let me in. Youve got to get ready.It took me a minute to realize what he meant. No. Im not going.Come on, he prodded, following me inside. ?Cause you had a fight with Lis sa? You guys are going to make up soon. No background for you to stay here all night. If you dont want to be around her, Eddies getting a group together over in his room later.My old, fun-loving tone perked its head up just a bit. No Lissa. Probably no royals. yeah?Seeing that he was starting to get me, Mason grinned. smell at his eyes, I realized again how much he care me. And again I wondered, Why couldnt I just have a normal boyfriend? Why did I want my hot, older wise man the mentor Id probably end up getting fired?Itll just be novices, Mason continued, oblivious to my thoughts. And I have a surprisal for you when we get there.Is it in a bottle? If Lissa wanted to ignore me, I had no reason to keep myself sober.No, thats at Eddies. Hurry up and get dressed. I know you arent wearing that.I looked tidy sum at my ripped jeans and University of operating theatre T-shirt. Yeah. Definitely not wearing this.Fifteen minutes later, we cut crosswise the quad back over to the comm ons, laughing as we recounted how a particularly clumsy classmate of ours had given himself a black eye in practice this week. Moving quickly over the frozen ground wasnt undemanding in heels, and he kept grabbing my arm to keep me from falling over, half-dragging me along. It made us laugh that much more. A happy feeling started to hygienic up in me I wasnt entirely rid of the ache for Lissa, but this was a start.Maybe I didnt have her and her friends, but I had my own friends. It was also very likely that I was going to get head-over-heels rummy tonight, which, while not a great way to solve my problems, would at least be really fun. Yeah. My life could be worse.Then we ran into Dimitri and Alberta.They were on their way somewhere else, talking guardian business. Alberta smiled when she saw us, giving us the kind of indulgent look older people always give to younger people who appear to be having fun and acting silly. Like she thought we were cute. The nerve. We stumbled to a halt, and Mason put a hand on my arm to steady me.Mr. Ashford, Miss Hathaway. Im surprised you arent already in the commons.Mason gave her an angelic, teachers-pet smile. Got delayed, Guardian Petrov. You know how it is with girls. Always got to look perfect. You especially must know all about that.Normally I would have elbowed him for saying something so stupid, but I was staring at Dimitri and incapable of speech. Perhaps more importantly, he was staring at me too.I had on the black dress, and it was everything Id hoped it could be. In fact, it was a wonder Alberta didnt call me on the dress code right there and then. The fabric clung everywhere, and no Moroi girls chest could have held this dress up. Victors rose hung around my neck, and Id done a hasty blow-dry of my hair, leaving it down the way I knew Dimitri liked it. I hadnt worn tights because no one wore tights with dresses like this anymore, so my feet were freezing in the heels. in all for the sake of looking good.And I was pretty sure I looked turd good, but Dimitris face wasnt giving anything away. He just looked at me and looked and looked. Maybe that said something about my appearance in and of itself. Remembering how Mason sort of held my hand, I pulled away from him. He and Alberta finished up their joking remarks, and we all went our separate ways.Music blasted inside the commons when we arrived, white Christmas imperfects and ugh a disco ball casting the only light in the other than darkened room. Gyrating bodies, mostly underclassmen, packed the dance floor. Those who were our age stood in too-cool clusters along the edges of the room, waiting for an opportune time to sneak off. An assortment of chaperones, guardians and Moroi teachers alike, patrolled around, breaking up those dancers who did a little too much gyrating.When I saw Kirova in a sleeveless plaid dress, I turned to Mason and said, Are you sure we cant hit the hard liquor yet?He snickered and took my hand again. Come on, time for your surprise.Letting him lead me, I walked across the room, cutting through a cluster of freshmen who looked way too young to be doing the kind of pelvic thrusts they were attempting.Where were the chaperones when you needed them? Then I saw where he was leading me and came to a screeching halt.No, I said, not budging when he tugged my hand.Come on, its going to be great.Youre taking me to Jesse and Ralf. The only way I can ever be seen with them is if Ive got a blunt object, and Im aiming between their legs.He pulled me again. not anymore. Come on.Reluctant, I finally started moving my worst fears were realized when a few pairs eyes turned our way. Great. Everything was starting all over again. Jesse and Ralf didnt ceremony us at first, but when they did, an amusing array of expressions played over their faces. First they saw my body and the dress. Testosterone took over as pure male lust shone out of their faces. Then they seemed to realize it was me and promptly turne d terrified. Cool.Mason gave Jesse a sharp poke in the chest with the end of his finger. totally right, Zeklos. Tell her.Jesse didnt say anything, and Mason repeated the gesture, only harder.Tell her.not meeting my eyes, Jesse mumbled, Rose, we know none of that stuff happened.I almost clogged on my own laughter. Do you? Wow. Im really glad to hear that. Because you see, until you said that, Id been thinking it had happened. Thank God you guys are here to set me substantial and tell me what the hell I have or havent doneThey flinched, and Masons light expression darkened to something harder.She knows that, he growled. Tell her the rest.Jesse sighed. We did it because Mia told us to.And? prompted Mason.And were sorry.Mason turned to Ralf. I want to hear it from you, big boy.Ralf wouldnt meet my eyes either, but he mumbled something that sounded vaguely like an apology.Seeing them defeated, Mason turned chipper. You havent heard the best part yet.I cut him a sidelong look. Yeah? Li ke the part where we rewind time and none of this ever happened?Next best thing. He tapped Jesse again. Tell her. Tell her why you did it.Jesse looked up and exchanged unstable looks with Ralf.Boys, warned Mason, clearly delighted about something, youre making Hathaway and me very angry. Tell her why you did it.Wearing the look of one who realized things couldnt get any worse, Jesse finally met my eyes. We did it because she slept with us. Both of us.